How To Manage Long Distance Relationships?
Long distance relationships are the most avoided kind of relationships. People believe that long
distance never works out. Your friends and family advise you not to take it seriously. They think you may get your heart broken.
I agree that long distance is not that easy as this distance parameter makes many things unachievable. There are times when things get complicates, times when you feel sad and lonely, but your partner may not be there physically to support you. However, with these cons come the sweet pros. The feeling of being able to hold each other’s hand, eating together at the same place, feeling each other’s touch, walking together. In a normal relationship, these things are so common that we don’t feel special anymore but in a long distance, not being able to do these things together makes them special.
Long distance is a tough job, but it comes with its own surprises too.
Here are some pointers that may help you out to keep the fire within the relationship alive:
There must be a limit to the communication between the partners. It is not necessary to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Couples tend to believe that communicating more compensates the distance part, but it’s not true. It might make things worse. It all about the right moments.
Long Distance is like an opportunity. It is a journey to learn about your partner and see if you still have the same feelings after all the distance barriers. Instead of thinking that long distance is pulling you apart, believe it as an experience that will make your bond stronger. Being far but being close is much important than being close but really far.
Setting some ground rules may help to manage your expectations better. The rule may include things like if you two are exclusive or what is the level of your commitment towards each other. Opening up to each other makes things easy and better.
Communicating regularly makes the partners connected. It may start with the “Good Morning” greeting in the morning to the “Good Night” greeting at night. Share every bit of information about your life, current happenings. It’s not like every day is worth sharing as nothing new happens every day still try to update your partner. Send audio clips, pictures, video clips from time to time making the person feel like he is a part of your life.
You must avoid situations that may displease your partner. If your partner is not comfortable with you going to a club or going out to have drinks with a group of friends then either don’t go or talk to him beforehand. Not handling these matters properly makes the partner feel worried or suspicious and upset as he/she feels powerless in such a situation because of the distance barrier.
There are plenty of things that you may share with your partner even after the distance. You may play an online game together, watch a movie at the same time, sing songs on Skype, take a walk together while video calling each other, online shopping, buy gifts for each other.
You may even do similar things together like reading the same book, watching similar TV series or movies, listening to the same music. This will help you get more common topics to talk about.
Surprise your partner with a visit. This is the highlight of a long distance relationship. A visit acts as a price you get in return for all the hard work that you put into your relationship. You finally get to enjoy the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. For a normal couple, its common but for you its special and more intimate.
At the end of the day, you know you need to settle down so have some goals about the future in mind. Make a plan with each other and ensure that both of you are on the same page and share the same set of goals. So even if you are not living in the same space and same time zone, still the things work out in the same direction towards the future that includes both the partners.
Unlike other couples, you can enjoy some of your alone time with your friends and family. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner. Enjoy your alone time by making plans with your friends, going to gym, getting some hobby, watching series.
Whether long distance or not, it is important to stay honest. Talk about your fears, insecurities, jealousy, apathy or whatever feeling you have. Hiding your feeling won’t take you anywhere instead there would always be guilt within. Open up to your partner and be honest about every word you say. Let your partner help you and support you.
Long distance may be a difficult job to do but the result that we receive after the hard work is fruitful and worth it.