What Every Indian Parent Need To Understand About Divorces:
India, where marriage is not only the union of two people but also two families. The success of the marriage depends upon your compatibility with the new family instead of the person because of whom you are a part of this family.
The term “divorce” is like a taboo in this society. Nobody cares if you are happy in the marriage or not. Everybody cares about those invisible “char log” who God knows why is so keen in knowing about my whereabouts. Marriage is considered as a “pure bond” and if you ever question that then everyone turns to you, even your parents with their raised eyebrows. Instead of knowing the reason behind, every person suggests you to try to fix it and say things like now you need to live with it; it’s your faith and all kind of bullshit.
As per my belief, a person must always do things that he loves. If marriage is making him/her happy then continue if not why suffer, why not break the bond and start living like happy individuals instead of a sad and distant couple.
It’s time that our Indian parents realise that marriages too fail and it’s not a big deal. The best way to deal with such a failure is to end the suffering and start living life afresh in a new direction.
First I would like to highlight that nobody marries a person knowing that they are going to end up in divorce one day. It is a huge decision for them then it is for you. They might have given it numerous tries before telling you their decision. These types of decisions are well thought instead of being impulsive. Please stop blaming them for their actions and support them anyway.
Everyone has their share of marital problems, and everyone wants to remain married. But Let’s face it, you want to be married to a person only if you are getting something out of this marriage. Staying in a marriage just for the sake of marriage is not a reason. The truth would remain the same that it is a failed marriage, keeping beside what the world thinks about you two.
If we look around, there are a number of couples from all age groups who are not very happy in their marriage. They are still together for the sake of either their families or parents or children. It takes a lot of courage to accept the fact that things are not working out and you must move on. Thankfully, nowadays people are becoming more and more courageous and are walking out of the marriage. It’s better to be divorced than not even be able to make a proper eye contact.
Compatibility is not just a term; it has a deep meaning attached to it. At the initial level, when we just marry a person, the only mutual interest that we look at are in terms of movies and food, but it has a meaning beyond these things. Sometimes, it takes years to realise that you are not that much compatible as you think you were. There are reasons beyond violence, infidelity and financial troubles that may result in divorce. There may be many things that may be going wrong in a relationship. This doesn’t mean that those two people haven’t tried bypassing everything. They might be good human beings with perfect families but may not be ideal for each other. Their chemistry does not match up with each other.
For Parents, their child is always a child whether he/she is eight years old or 32 years old. They must support the decisions of their children. They have much more experience of life but their child knows what they are going through. They are aware and responsible whether you believe it or not. They know the consequences they have to face taking such a big decision but at the end of the day, it’s their life, and they must take the decisions that make them happy.
The amount of courage that it takes for a person to make such a huge decision is a lot. There is nothing worse than having nobody around who understands you well and is there for you no matter what. At this stage, they seek the help and support of their family as if they want the things to worsen up then society is enough to make their life miserable. They just want their parents by their side whether you agree with their decision or not.
Divorce is not the end of life; it is like an end of a phase of life. New beginnings or second phase of life start after that. Everything is fine. There is much more to life than these love relationships. Maybe you get a job that you always wanted, or you meet a person who you were destined to meet and fall in love with him. These are just small phases of life and I have read somewhere that we must apply “5 rule” on everything (“5 rule” – If you are sad/upset over something then think would that thing matter in 5 years, if yes then go on.. I won’t stop you but if it doesn’t that what is the use of spending your precious 5 seconds thinking about it).
It’s high time now, forget the society, support your child. This may be a life changing decision for your child and having a parent by their side would make it worth it.